


Kyle Gets The Coon by Aaryck Karettmen

by lordjenjen



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 23:36:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16942863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Kyle is about to be raped when he's saved by South Park's #1 Superhero, The Coon. But The Coon has to go above and beyond to save Kyle from himself and effecting others.Prompt: AnyonexKyle. Cartman writes a m/m fanfiction about Kyle. Bonus challenge: make it ‘Omega Verse’ and include as many yaoi cliches as you can think of.





	Kyle Gets The Coon by Aaryck Karettmen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sommersets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sommersets/gifts).



> It's a joke and I hope it comes across that way. That being said, it's not your fault if you get a littler turned on while reading this. I had a really hard time making it 100% silly.

Kyle Gets The Coon by Aaryck Karettmen 

 

Kyle didn’t normally form obsessions like this. It just wasn’t in him to care. But the first time he saw the superhero in action, he was in love. He had to know who the man behind the mask was. He had to know, who was The Coon?

Kyle spent most of his teens and into his 20’s researching the Coon. Tracking him. Following his every victory. His every defeat. He knew every move. Had watched hours of video footage just to figure out who the Coon was.

And it had gotten him nowhere. 

That wasn't completely true. He’d managed to narrow it down to a few people in South Park who had the time and money to run around at night. But the problem was, he just couldn’t figure out who.

Kyle downed the last of his beer. Sitting around in the bar wasn’t helping him. He should be out trying to track him down. It was Friday night. The Coon could usually be spotted downtown this time of the week, since most of the crimes happened as drunk people and rapists were leaving the bars and clubs. Kyle slid off the bar stool. He felt a little funny but paid it no mind. It wasn’t anything new. He wasn't the best and holding his alcohol and two beers was his max limit. It was the worst part about being a Jew. Everyone knew Jews had low alcohol tolerance.

Kyle staggered out of the bar, disappointed one beer had him like this. He concentrated on his feet, making one move then the other, hoping he was walking and not just standing in place.

A sudden tackle from the side startled Kyle. He was pushed down an alley and up against the wall face first. The rough brick ripping Kyle’s expensive shirt.

“I’ve been watching you,” the creep whispered and licked Kyle’s face. “I know what you are. I’ve never fucked a Jew before. I’m going to rape your ass. And you’re going to like it.”

“No!” Kyle yelled but was unable to put up a fight. “Please! Someone save me!”

“No one can save you,” the man said as he pressed Kyle harder into the wall. He ripped Kyle’s pants at the seam, exposing his man thong he insisted on wearing. Kyle loved the feel of the sexy underwear, but now, it was his downfall.

“Stranger danger! Rape!” Each yell made Kyle weaker. He closed his eyes, hoping someone would save him. 

He felt the man insert his fingers into Kyle’s butt, cold with some kind of lubricant. He’d barely fingered him when Kyle started feeling funny. He didn’t want this, but his wiener became hard, ass became welcoming. He didn’t want to be raped by this complete stranger, but his body suddenly needed a dick inside of him.

Then, the fingers were gone along with all the pressure from him. Kyle turned to see a black cape attack his attacker and sighed. The Coon.

“You won’t get away with this!”

Kyle watched in awe as the Coon swiped at the would be rapist., leaving his signature claw marks on the man's cheeks. He looked way cooler and more handsome in person. The way his body moved with such fluid motion, like a really beefy ballerina. 

“Oh my god Coon, you’re so cool and handsome.”

“I know,” the coon responded, as he placed a Coon tracker on the rapist for the police to find. “We need to get you to a safe place. Can you hold on?”

Kyle nodded as the Coon helped him up and onto his back. Kyle wrapped his legs around the Coons super beefy and bludging body. The feel of his rippling muscles beneath him as the Coon climbed the wall with ease, just as a coon does, made Kyle’s boner even worse.

“Coon, please.”

“What is it random citizen I don’t know?”

They reached the rooftop and Cartman set Kyle down. “I need you, Coon. I need relief and only you’re capable of giving it to me. Please. He put something in me and I’m all hot.”

Kyle rubbed himself through his pants, exposing his ass through the rip in his pants.

“Let me take a look.” 

The Coon got on his knees to inspect Kyle. Kyle could feel his body heating up as the Coon got closer, almost coming just from the feel of his soft and tender hand. The Coon hummed has his fingers came back slick. He rubbed the stuff between his finger and thumb before for smelling it and eventually tasting it. Everyone knew the Coon had enhanced senses and could tell the components of every substance.

“It’s a Jew-omone. A pheromone to bring out the lustful side of jews. We need to get you to a professional.”

“No! It can’t wait!” Kyle knew that wasn’t entirely true, but he needed this, not only because of the Jew-omone, but because once seeing the Coon in person, seeing his muscles and knowing he wasn’t fat or anything, he realized his need to track down the Coon was based on lust. He needed this both medically and personally.

“I can’t just-”

The Coon was having a hard time resisting. Jews were known, once their lust was on locked, to be more seductive than a succubus. And it was proving to be right. He couldn’t resist such a lustful man in need. He needed his help and the coon was just here to help.

“Please! I need your Coon tool inside me! I need you.”

There was a moment Kyle thought he was going to be denied and the Coon would take him to seek medical attention.

But the Coon placed a hand on his chest. Kyle opened his eyes and stared into the most powerful blue eyes he’d ever seen. 

“I’ll help you. But we’re going to have to do this right for it to work.”

Kyle nodded obediently, glad he’d be relieved of this feeling and glad he'd be able to experience all the Coon had to offer. The Coon removed the Coon Blanket from his pouch and laid it on the rough rooftop. He then moved a weak Kyle onto it, laying him gently on the blanket.

“I know you feel ready to take my Coon peepee, but in order to truly flush the Jew-omones out of your system, we need to do this the right way.”

The Coon tweaked one of Kyle’s nipples. Kyle arched into the touch moaning loudly. It felt amazing. Everything about the coon was amazing to him. His beefy body was so amazing up close and personal. Coon used his other hand to do the same to his other nipple and Kyle about came from it.

“In order to work the stuff out of your system, we have to get your nipples as hard and erect as possible. It prevents the Jew-omones from entering your boobies. But they can’t be sucked on, least its already made its way there and you start lactating it. If someone else absorbs your fluids with the Jew-omones, they will be under your seduction charm.”

Just the sound of the Coon explaining what he was doing was enough to dive Kyle wild. His voice was so deep and sexy and not at all stupid sounding.

“Oh Coon!” Kyle moaned as his nipples were toyed with. “Please do something! I’m going insane.”

“There’s a whole process we need to go through.” The Coon let go of Kyle’s nipples before pulling his weiner out. “You need to suck on this. My semen will help calm the effects.”

Kyle stared at The Coon’s love rod for a hot minute. It was big and thick and not at all small. His mouth watered at the thought of it in his mouth. It was such a glorious hunk of meat, Kyle hoped it was Kosher. He opened his mouth wide to accommodate such a plump and delicious looking, all beef weiner. It tasted just as good as it looked and didn't smell funny at all. Kyle began sucking on it, wanting more of it.

As he sucked on the Coon’s dick, the Coon continued playing with his nipples, rolling them between his fingers. They began to get to tender. Kyle was about to ask him to stop when the Coon stopped. He turned his attention to Kyle’s mouth. He grabbed the sides of Kyle’s head and began fucking his mouth.

“You need to take swallow it all. And then I need to stick my weiner into your butthole.”

Kyle’s eyes rolled into the back of his head with ecstasy. The Coon had a way with words that could make him jizz just from that alone. It didn’t take the Coon long before he was shooting his seed down Kyle’s throat. Kyle did as he was told and swallowed every bit of the Coon’s seed, eager to please and to taste the man. It was difficult with the Coon’s load being so large, but the slutty side of Kyle had been unlocked. He performed well.

The effects of the Coon’s semen was instant. Kyle felt his body calm down a bit. The need, the want, the desire to have the Coon penetrate him was still there, but it wasn’t flooding his thoughts.

“Okay now we need to get your butt ready. Even though it’s ready to take anything that enters it, my penis is no ordinary penis and can hurt you if you’re not prepared. We also need to prepare you for when you do finally shoot out your contaminated sperm. It can’t be let out to infect anyone else.”

“Yes,” Kyle moaned, half out of it in a lust filled haze.

We watched as the Coon put on gloves before pulling out a strange device from his belt. It was like a penis pump but had a hose and canister on the end. Kyle assumed it was to suck his semen into the canister. The Coon unzipped his pants and took out his rod. Carefully, he put Kyle’s penis into the tube, nestling it against his pelvis. Kyle wasn’t sure what was going on, but he could feel it suck at him, pulling his wiener in all directions. When the pressure became too much it stopped. 

“You need to get onto your hands and knees.”

Kyle obeyed, slowly rolling onto his knees, careful not to knock the device off his penis. His butthole was already exposed from the rapist. This made it easy for the Coon to do his work. Hands still gloved, he pressed two fingers into Kyle. The Coon’s big, beefy fingers gave Kyle a good stretch, but his butt quickly accommodated them. His butt tried to milk the Coon’s fingers. Kyle had no control over his muscles. Kyle moaned. His fingers felt so good in his butt, he thought he was going to jizz just from them. Carefully, Coon began fingering his butthole, fingers moving in and out, scissoring his hole open. 

“Please fuck me Coon,” Kyle begged as he began pushing his hips onto the other man’s fingers.

“We’re getting there.”

“No now. Please. I can take it. I can take your enormous rod. I feel like my butt was made for it.”

“If you took it now it would break you in half.”

Kyle whined, but the Coon was right. His weiner was the biggest he’d ever seen. He needed to be eased onto it. 

The Coon added a third finger to Kyle’s ass. Kyle hissed with pain at the stretch but the pain quickly became pleasure as his ass accommodated to it. He felt himself getting hot all over again. His body wanted to be touched. He needed his penis touched. Kyle reached for his junk. His hand came in contact with the casing around his wiener. He whined at not being able to play with his pole and reached back for his balls. He had to play with something. Anything. He just needed it. 

“The Jew-omones are working faster than they should on you. I need to work fast. This is going to hurt a bit.”

The Coon withdrew his fingers from Kyle and lined his wiener with Kyles butthole. It took a lot of effort for the Coon to enter Kyle slowly. Kyle could feel his fingers dig into his hips with the effort to go slow. His strength could crush bones, and Kyle was glad the Coon hadn't broke his hip upon entry. Kyle moaned the whole time. He’d never felt something so big in his life. It was stretching him almost painfully wide and was going deeper than anything he’d ever felt before.

It was awesome.

“Please, Coon. Please.” Kyle couldn’t manage any other words. Just begging.

“Okay. Brace yourself.”

Kyle used both hands to keep himself steady as the Coon began to sex him. It was so pleasurable, Kyle’s mind went blank. All he could think about was the Coon’s penis penetrating his butthole over and over.

“Oh god! Coon! You’re so good! You’re the best I’ve ever had!” Kyle yelled. “You’re so strong! So big and not fat at all! Please give me your seed in my butthole! I need to come!”

Kyle heard the Coon grunt and felt him thrust faster. “Hold tight. I’m going to feed your butthole my jizz.”

Kyle felt it. He could feel the Coon fill his butt with his hot wet semen. There was so much of hit, Kyle was sure it was going to leak out. As the Coon came inside of him, Kyle came inside the canister. It left him with such force, Kyle was surprised he didn’t break the device or over fill it. Once his balls were finally empty, all the energy from Kyle left him. He collapsed on top of the Coon blanket onto his side. 

“Don’t pass out quite yet.”

He felt the Coon lift his hips into the air, his butt sticking straight up. Something pressed into his hole. He felt himself stretch around it before closing trapping whatever it was inside as something else nestled against his hole.

“That’s a Coon plug. You need to keep my special semen inside of you for a while before you’re fully cured. Until then, I can't have you wandering around infecting people. Just in case.”

Kyle felt himself being lifted and carried then set back down, the blanket still beneath him. His arms were raised above his head and something placed around his wrists. Tiredly, Kyle looked up to see he'd been Coon-cuffed to a pipe. The Coon, in all of his heroic and mysterious glory, stood a bit away, his cape billowing in the wind mysteriously. It gave him an aura of badassery Kyle had never seen before.

“The Coon-cuffs have a timer. In two hours they will release you and you can go home. Until then, you can hang out here.”

“What if someone finds me before then?” 

“No one will find you here, on top of this Kmart.”

Kyle binked, just a blink, and the Coon was gone. He smiled and rested his head on the brick. Despite the horrible start, the night had turned out amazing. Hed met the Coon, found him to be more handsome and muscular and buff then he originally thought. The Coon had sex with him, which was like an unknown dream come true. And now he had the Coon’s DNA, secured safely in his pooper. All he had to do was get it analyzed and find out the Coons true identity.


End file.
